My family is in Deyang (1) and Chengdu (2), and the epicenter of the earthquake was in Wenchuan (3). The quake was a magnitude of 7.9 and it has killed almost 9,000 people from latest counts. I'm very worried for my family. We still haven't heard from them because the phone lines are jammed and busy. I can only hope for the best.

Update: We've reached everyone now, they are all safe.  I'm so relieved.

RIP to the 15,000 and counting dead...I hope for a speedy recovery of anyone who's still alive and of the bodies of all those who have still not been found. What a sad day for all of us.

My life, the part that lies outside the realm of choice (with the exception of a few bright spots, perhaps more aptly deemed moments of "comic relief"), is a constant tv drama; there's always some nasty twist around the corner, except there is no end of the hour for me, and the tv never shuts off.  We're all just unfortunate, imperfect individuals caught in some cruel twist of fate, something like Huis Clos, except we're far too innocent and all too real.  I sympathize for all the characters, but my resolutions seem always temporary.  I'm helpless against all of our problems, even mine, and the flames only fan higher every day.  I wonder how it can get any worse, but I have no doubt it will.  Happiness in this madness is so transient that I often forget its presence.  Sometimes, it all seems like a great illusion.  I've lost all but a few lines mooring me to the shore, and they are all that keeps me from being swept into the hurricane and becoming lost forever.  I wonder where everyone else is and how many lines they have left to them; I want to help them too, but I don't know how.  Please let those lines be strong enough to hold us through, at least until the momentary peace that might be found in the eye of the storm, and please let us not lose hope...

Perhaps this is a good time to provide an update of my life to those of you out there who might possibly still use xanga...

I finished my AMCAS apps on July 3...about 3wks later I received a bunch of secondaries, from everybody except Oregon, so I guess I already got one rejection

Couple weeks after that, I decided that Case Western is probably not for me, so...it's gonna be the last secondary I do, if I do them at all...ditto with Harvard, except that the reason is I have 99% chance of not getting an interview, and since they have no secondary essays, it's really just a question of whether or not I want to fork over ~$100 for a more than likely rejection...

Anyway, I've submitted secondaries now for Wright State, U Cincinnati, U Rochester, and U Pittsburgh...I'm currently struggling with my OSU apps...with U Michigan, Mt. Sinai, and U Penn still in line.  Somehow I have to get this all done by this time next week ...I can feel the onset of slow panic...this is not a good feeling to have.  Really though, I just have to get OSU done, because parts of its essays and the essays I've already completed can be used for the other schools with some slight revisions...this is very very lucky for me.  The only problem now is the fact that I have the worst case of writer's block that I can ever remember (which basically means I've never had it this bad)...I don't know why I'm stuck and I don't know how to get past it...all I know is that I've been here for almost a week now, and that's one hell of a waste of time...sigh...

Finally, my parents told me tonight that they want to plan a trip to Michigan before the start of school for my bro, which is just under 2wks away, so now they're pressuring me to finish everything by this weekend...I really don't know how I'm going to hold it together, but when September starts, it better be over...at least until interviews come along.  I still want a trip of my own before I start school or ANY interviews for that matter, and I don't intend to be disappointed.  Stress...it kills...

Anyway, thanks to whoever actually read all this, but I had to vent...so here it is...my apologies for the length...well volunteering tom, then work...so good night, sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite (btw, those bed bugs really do bite and are actually making a comeback in the US right now...go figure)